Center Stage

I restarted this blog on January 1, 2014, but failed to complete my first new post. I can't think of a time that would be more fitting than tonight.

Today I was literally walking around with my head in a cloud over a decision that I had no control over. I was literally walking around angry and sad because I felt as though the decision brought my beauty and intelligence into question. When I feel this way I tend to find ways to destroy the characters of others. I always have a hard time accepting that somethings are just not meant for me to have or do. After talking to my mom today, I finally began to see where I was wrong. Let's just say I wasn't meant for the stage, my talent lies within my words. A computer keyboard and a blank word document are often where my best work is produced.

In retrospect, God does knows everything I can handle and that which I cannot. The situation that has been upsetting me would be something I couldn't handle emotionally. At the end of the day, it's better for me to be mad at the decision than an actual participant, crying and fucking up because I can't catch up to what is going on.

Marianne Williamson once began a quote by saying: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." The past few days I have been feeling like I was inadequate as a young woman and as a college student. In reality, my fear is that I can actually be more than people are expecting me to be. I'm tired of feeling trapped in circles where my heart is always on my sleeve. I want to take leaps and strides to achieve the greatness that I know is within me.

So instead of wasting my intellectual property being upset over trivial matters, I'm going to move on and figure out what I can to do to become winner of my own pageant, the master of my own center stage.


-XOXO